Dec. 8, 2002

On Nov. 8th I had a lower body lift with Dr. Basner, located in Lutherville. He removed 19 lbs of skin! That brings my weight loss at 18 months since WLS to... 157 lbs! I have to tell you that this surgery hurt much worse then I had ever expected! Now, 4 weeks later I can say that it was worth it but if you had asked me the first 2 weeks, I would have said NO! lol I can't tell you how many times I cried because I was so miserable and was sorry I had it done. I also knew in the back of my mind that once the pain was gone and I could stand up straight that I would be happy I had it done. Ok, I am finally getting to that point! :) I have updated my site to include the first plastic surgery procedure. View my plastic surgery section to learn more.

Wishing you and yours a very happy and healthy holiday season!

Nikki :)

Sept. 24, 2002

15 months post op and I have lost a total of 138 lb.! How incredible it has been! I am not concerned about losing more weight at this point. I have been interviewing plastic surgeons and I am ready to get things started. I know once I have all the skin and flab removed it is going to make a world of difference! It is hard finding clothing that fits properly due to all the hanging skin. Don't get me wrong, I would much rather deal with the skin then the fat!

I can fit into booths in a restaurant now. I can polish my toe nails without feeling like I am going to pass out! lol I know you women out there understand what I mean... I can shop on the regular size side of the clothing store now. I have to admit, I still find myself starting out on the plus side! Old habits are sometimes hard to break. I recently showed a new friend of mine, my before and progress photos, they told me... "Wow, you are your own MinnieMe now!" I had to laugh at that, it made me feel good. I have also had several people come up and tell me that I am getting so thin and they are concerned about my losing more weight. That is a first in my lifetime! lol I currently weigh 195.5 lb.. My personal goal was to get down to about 175 - 180. I am sure once I have plastic surgery and have all the skin removed, I will be very close to that.

Having this surgery has made so many changes in my life! I don't regret one moment of it and would do it again if I had to!

Now a new journey begins... Plastic surgery! Take care all:)

Nikki

June 14, 2002

Ok, confession time... I did not update my site last month because I was so bummed when I went to get weighed in. I had gained a pound! I am sure that most of you can understand how devastated I felt! All I could think was.... Oh No! here we go again! The doctor and nutritionist was very supportive, something I have never experienced before when I had a weight gain. Anyway... I did mean to update my site and bite the bullet but just never made it.

So, this month there is much better news to announce. I lost a total of 10.5 lbs! I lost the one I gained last month and 9.5 on top of that! Ok, so color me ecstatic! hehehe

This month, on June 29th to be exact, marks one year since surgery and 131 lbs gone! There are so many thoughts and emotions that come with that. I was updating my pictures tonight and still have a hard time believing that is me in them! I am still in awe in so many ways. I still cringe when I am shown to a booth in a restaurant but I fit with room to spare! I still use my seat belt extender, ok, the reason I do that is that the seat belt lays so nicely on my shoulder that I hate to give it up! lol I have a ton of room between my belly and the steering wheel now. I can even place my bottle of water between my legs when I drive and it just stays there!

I have much more confidence in myself now, well, most of the time. I still battle with that fat image of me. It is amazing how things change though... People make more eye contact now then ever before.

I was going out a few weeks ago and my 17 year old son told me I needed to change, I was confused by that since I thought I looked pretty decent. He told his Dad... Dad, Mom needs to go change into something else because she looks too good to go out by herself! Did that ever make me feel good! About a month before that, we went to see my brother in laws band play and I had a guy come on to me at the bar! lol Hubby got a little jealous but all I could think was... Wow! I got hit on in a bar! hehehehe How cool was that!? Not a bad thing to see that after 25 years, hubby can still get jealous either! hehehe My son keeps telling me that if I lose more weight he is going to have to tie weights to me so I won't blow away. Bless his heart! One of the women that works in my office building told me yesterday that everytime she sees me I am thinner and she thinks I am going to melt away! hehehe I love it!

I could go on and on. I not only write this to help others researching this surgery but also to remind myself years from now all the good that has come from this journey. I am very good about taking my vitamins and getting in enough protein, whether it be by food or by protein drinks and bars. I can not say enough times how important this is! It is a lifetime commitment so please... make sure that you do this for you!

Hopefully this time next year I will be on the road to having plastic surgery. Part of me can not wait! I have so much lose skin but I am not complaining about that. I would much rather deal with that than the fat... I just look like a prune out of my clothes! <grin>

I want to thank my family, friends, and the many people I have met through this journey for all of the support and love over the past year plus. It means the world to me!

Till next time...
Hugs
Nikki

April 16, 2002

Lost 4.5 lbs. this month making the total now, 122.50 lbs! I had a chat with Bev last night, the counselor/nutritionist because I am concerned about the stoma opening stretching to much since it seems I get hungry sooner these days and the loss has slowed down. She assured me that I am on track and I am doing great. I have been telling myself that past 24 hours that I have lost 122.5 lbs in 9.5 months!

Of course it helps that in the past few days, I was walking down the hall at work and had 2 people call me slim! hehehe I had the boss tell me this morning that he did not think I needed to lose anymore weight. If only my brain would catch up with the rest of me! lol

I know the loss needs to slow down or I will waste away to nothing but it is a fear of failure at the same time. I am sure many of you can relate to what I am feeling. I want to lose 35 more lbs for my own personal goal. I know I will get there:)

My sister has 2 weeks and 6 days before her surgery! WooHoo Sis!!!

Till next time...
Nikki

March 19, 2002

Been waiting for this to happen. I lost 4 lbs and was rather bummed out. On the drive home I remember a chat that I had with a good friend of mine a few months ago when she called me all bummed out because she only lost 4 lbs. I told her that 4 lbs off was much better then 4 lbs gain! lol Ok, so I had the same pep talk with myself. After all, 118 lbs in 8.5 months is not a shabby feat! I am proud of myself and know that I will make this work for me:)

Congrats to my sista for getting her approval for her surgery!!! I am so happy for you and I will be there for you! Love you!

Until next time... Nikki :)

Feb. 19, 2002

Here we are again... I was very happy to find that I had lost 12 lbs last month! I thought my months of double digit losses were gone but nice to know they will sneak back in there from time to time! That makes the grand total loss now of... 114lbs! WooHoo!!!

I attended a birthday party Saturday, said hello to a woman that I see a few times a year, she asked me who I was! LOL What a hoot that was! I don't think I have changed that much, no new hair style or anything else drastic. Yesterday I went to the local grocery store to get a salad for lunch and the cashier asked me if I had been dieting. I said no, I am never going to diet again for the rest of my life! lol She proceeded to tell me that she had noticed that I lost a good deal of weight but was hesitant to say something in case I was sick. I then told her about the surgery and said that I am trying to make better choices for myself and that I have lost 114 lbs. She said that she had noticed and I told her that it has not caught up with me mentally yet and I did not think it was that noticeable. She said... Oh Yes It Is! lol Then I came back to work and checked my email and someone told me that I was an inspiration to them! All I could think was... Me? An inspiration to someone? WOW! That made me feel so good. I know in doing my research that I had gotten so much help and information from others that I wanted to be able to give that back one day. It is nice to know that I can do that in some form.

LOL I am online and someone just asked for my picture, I have in my profile that I am a BBW and if that bothers you, then don't bother me! This is his response to my photo..."bbw ??? just barely if at all...lol" I will probably be smiling about that one all day! WOOHOO!!!!

For all of my family and friends... THANK YOU so much for your continued support and love. You all mean so much to me!!! <sniffle, tears of joy> Oh yeah, thanks for all the clothes also! hehehe

Jan. 15, 2002

Happy New Year!

What an experience this past 6 months has been. Sometimes it is like having an out of body experience. I went for my check up last night and have lost a total of 102 lb in 6.5 months! I never thought that I would lose 100 lbs in six months! When I look in the mirror, I still do not see 100 lb less of me! lol Ummm I do see a lot more saggy skin but I don't care. I just know that with with weight off I will be much healthier in the years to come. When I sit and reflect on things and the friends I have made along the way and the amazing support that I have gotten from those close to me, it makes me teary eyed. My husband told me this morning that my 17 year old son was talking to him and said..."Mom kicks ass, don't she Dad!". Ok, so it is not the best language for a 17 year old to use but... oh boy did it make me feel good! I love my kids so much and comments like that remind me that even with our busy schedules, I am still an important part of thier lives. <happy sniffles>

I am thankful to God and my spirit guides for always being with me and to all of my family and friends that offer endless support! I love you all!

Dec. 4, 2001

I weighed in tonight and was so afraid to step on the scale! I knew that over the Thanksgiving weekend all I did was eat! Plus it is that time of month and all of us women know how that feels! I prayed all day that if I did not lose anything to at least let me not gain anything!! I stepped on the scale and watched it go up and then all of the sudden it stopped! Whew, what a relief! I had lost 9.5 LB! Sure made me happy!

I cleaned out my clothes closet this past weekend and got rid of anything that I wore this time last year! What a wonderful feeling that is to know that I can actually give the clothing away and not worry about keeping it for when I gain weight back.

While driving home from the doctors office tonight I was thinking of what has occurred over the past five months, it is still so hard for me to believe that I have actually lost 92 LB in five months! I know that this surgery is a "tool" but I still feel like this is a miracle! For once in my life I feel like I will be able to get this weight off and keep it off.

I thank God for giving the doctors the knowledge to help me with this problem I have fought all my life!

Till next month, Happy Holidays to all!
Nikki

Nov. 6, 2001

Ok can I say that weighing in tonight I lost another 11.5 LB! That makes the grand total so far of... 82.5 LB in four months! It is just amazing! Dr. Vanguri made me feel so good, when I walked in his office, he said, "you are looking good"! Ok, so he made my night!

Last week I ate Halloween candy two nights and did not get sick! Kind of scarey with the holidays coming up but I will make it, I am sure. I have a wonderful support system with most of my family and friends. I want to thank all of you for your love and support, it means the world to me!

To my sister who is going through some rough times at the moment, I love you so much sista!!!

I am now actually lying on my driver license in a good way, I am finally below the weight I have stated on there! <snicker> I treated myself tonight and bought a new sweater and a pair of shoes.

Until next month...
Nikki

Oct. 9, 2001

Drum Roll... As of weigh in tonight I have lost a total of 71 LB! I am feeling great and I am so happy I had this surgery and that I chose Dr. Vanguri. He is a wonderful, caring doctor. Even though he is a very busy man he takes his time with me, that is very important.

I want to share something here that I posted on the OSSG support list...

Hi gang,

It has been 3 months since surgery. I just wanted to share some of the small wonders that I knew most people on these list could relate to...

First the rings start to get loose, that is pretty cool.

Then I found I could take off my chain bracelet without even touching it! Ok, time to put that in the jewelry box for a while. It might fit as an anklet once I lose all my weight.

Going to the doctor and having him tell me that he is proud of me! Me! Never had a doctor do that before.

Having one of the teens I know see me in a store and tell me he almost did not recognize me cause I was getting so slim! lol Bless his heart!

Cleaning out my closet and finally knowing that I don't have to keep the cloths that are too big for me!

Ahhhhh, wearing the smallest size in my closet!

Being able to bend over and tie my shoes without feeling like I am going to pass out of fall over.

Getting out of the car at my girlfriends house for dinner this weekend and having her whistle at me! lol

Being so hungry because I was out and missed a meal then making a bet with my husband that I can finish my 4 slices of pizza (we always split a large one), eat most of the cinnamon sticks that we can order with the pizza and oh by the way... top it off with a pint of Ben and Jerry's New York Fudge Chunk ice cream...
yummy. Ok, he won the bet... I ate 1.5 slices of pizza and was stuffed! lol One bet I don't mind losing.

Dropping my son off at work the other day and I happened to glance down at my lap, to my amazement, I could actually see the car seat beneath me! WooHoo!

Realizing that my stretch watch band actually has room in it to hang!

All these wonderful things have happened in 3 short months. I won't lie, I get ticked off sometimes because I can't eat the way I used to (volume wise), I can pretty much eat whatever I want and I feel lucky in that way. At the same time, while I am upset I can't eat as much, there is a part of me that is so happy that I can not. I knew from doing research that this might happen and I was prepared for it.

When you get an "Ah Ha", it makes it all worth it:)

August 2001

Things in recovery are going well. I do get a little frustrated with things in that I still feel limited physically. I have to stop and tell myself that I just went through major surgery and it is going to take time to be a %100. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel bad, just not as much energy as I would like. Sometimes I go to do something and my incision pulls and reminds me that I might want to rethink that move.:)

I returned to work the first full week of August. I only work part time out of my home and a desk job to boot so I thought it would be a piece of cake. For me, it was not, I got very uncomfortable sitting for such a long period so I did half days the first week. That is cool, just another part of adjusting.

I find I can eat just about anything I want. I have not dumped as of yet on sugar or fat. I prayed before surgery that I would be one of those people that dump very easy, I have to say that now it is done and realizing that I would probably be that way the rest of my life, I am glad I don't dump easy!

I have had a taste of what people call Head Hunger on several occasions. It is still a demon to fight and sometimes it wins, sometimes I do. Once in a while I get sad that I can't eat as much as I used to before, especially if I really enjoying a meal.
I went out with friends last night for Chinese food, had lo-mein and rice. Now, I would not even consider this as a "new" post op but since it has been six weeks and I really wanted it, I ordered it. Once I had my fill, I looked at the serving plate of lo-mein and the small bowl of rice, it looked like I had hardly touched anything! So the leftovers came home for hubby and the kids. I just had to laugh to myself... prior to surgery, both the plate of lo-mein and rice would have been cleaned off! Just a disclaimer here... I am not telling anyone to go get Chinese food, you should always check with your doctor on your diet. Ummmm Dr. Vanguri, if you read this, I could not help myself. <g>

I am not scheduled to see the doctor again until September 11th. I will wait until then to weigh myself. I have not purchased a scale to use at home yet and don't plan to until sometime in the future. I don't want to get discouraged if I step on the scale and weigh myself too often.

Last week I was in the store shopping and heard this voice say... hey. I turned and saw one of my son's friends standing there. I gave him a hug and he said...
"I almost did not recognize you, you are getting so thin!" I have to say, he made my day! Out of the mouth of babes:) Ok, so it is only 39 lbs at this point but darn it, someone noticed!

July 2001

Surgery went fine! I will have to say that the hardest part was getting up and down for the first few days! I am not going to lie, that hurts. lol Everyday does get better though. Not to bore anyone but I am going to go into some detail here on my hospital stay and surgery so people that are considering using Dr. Vanguri will know how my experience went.

We got the hospital at approximately 9 a.m. on Friday morning, June 29th. I had my cross/type match done this morning after I registered. Things went rather smoothly through registration and the cross/type match. I was then escorted to a locker room where I was given a hospital gown so I could change and put my clothes in a locker. (I later found out that my clothing should not have been put in a locker but given to my husband since I was being admitted to the hospital for a few days.) A nurse's assistant came and got me and took me to a pre-pre op area. After sitting there for a while, I did feel forgotten and went to the nurses desk to ask if my husband and family could come back with me. (Ok, so they did kind of forget about me and what nurse was assigned to me) They let my family come back and then I got to sit in a recliner chair while the nurse put an IV in. We sat there for a while waiting then I got a wheelchair ride to the pre-op area. My family was still allowed with me at this stage. Ummm, it kind of reminds me of a holding area and I guess in reality, it is! hehehe My sister and sister in law made sure they kept me amused so the time flew by.

While in the pre-op area, the OR nurse came out and introduced herself to me. Ok, don't ask me her name cause I don't remember! She was very nice though, I liked her right away. Then the anesthesiologist came out, he had a very dry manner but he warmed up after a moment, how could he not with all 3 of us women messing with him! hehehe Then Dr. Vanguri came out and talked to me for a few minutes and said he was almost ready.

A few minutes later, an aide came to take me to the OR. Oh yeah, the whole time in the pre-op area was spent in a wheel chair while everyone else was in bed. It seemed strange until I got to the OR because they want you to be able to get on the OR table. Well, of course the family can't go this far. lol Poor people have to wait and bite their nails while you are in la la land.

I got into the OR room and saw the nurse, anesthesiologist and my doctor. I was ready! lol They told me to slow down a bit when I was getting on the table. I swear, the last thing I remember is laying back and saying something smirky to the anesthesiologist. (In a kidding manner of course)

I woke up in recovery but really don't remember much about recovery. I was in surgery for about 2.5 hours and recovery for 1.5 hours. It felt like as soon as I woke up they were taking me to my room. That is fine by me!
Hubby appeared at the side of my bed while I was being wheeled up the hall. I was happy to see him there:)

I have heard so many stories about all the tubes and stuff you wake up with. I don't like tubes coming out of my body. I was relieved to find that Dr. Vanguri stuck to his word and the only thing I woke up with was... my IV, a binder around my tummy with one drain and compression stockings on my legs. I have to say that I loved those stockings! They start at the ankle and fill up with air then slowly continue filling up until it reaches your knees, then they deflate. I found them very relaxing. I will say though, you need assistance with getting them on and off since your belly is sore! Thank God for my husband being there with me most of the time.

I expressed a concern to the counselor about going into the hospital over the weekend. She said it would be fine and did tell me what to be aware of, things like having a trapeze hooked to the bed so you could grab it to make it easier to get in and out. I made sure to tell my husband this prior to surgery so he could remind them. As I mentioned elsewhere on my site, I was not happy with the care I received at the hospital and did write a letter which was cc'd to several people. You can read that here. I don't feel Franklin Square is different then any other hospital, most use temp staff on the weekends and the care is not the same.

To continue on... I was up on Friday evening walking the room whenever I had to use the restroom. By Saturday I was out in the hall walking with my buddy "The IV". hehehe Get up and walk! It is good for you! I believe it was on Saturday when I went to move and felt pain... I asked myself... Oh my God, did I do the right thing here? Talking with several people, this is a normal feeling. I did my homework and was prepared for the surgery but I guess it hits home just what a major change you have just made. I can say that in my heart, I knew I had done the right thing. I just had to wait for my brain to catch up with me which took all of about 1 minute! lol

On Monday Dr. Vanguri came in and told me I could go home. He removed the staples and drain prior to my leaving. I was looking forward to being home:) While you are in the hospital, you are on liquids. Juice, tea, broth, and Jell-O. Once you get home you can have pureed food. I have to say, that is tough! To eat pureed foods for the first month, sucks! But... ya gotta do what ya gotta do:)

I went back for my first check up on July 17th and it went very well along with losing 31 lb. to boot! What a nice kick start at 2.5 weeks. I know that won't always keep up but it was a great start.

June 2001

Well, I got all my pre test out of the way and it went well. I do have gall stones so Dr. Vanguri will also remove my gall bladder during surgery. Fine by me since so many have to get them removed anyway! lol

May 2001

Completed my physch evaluation, piece of cake. I did my homework and it seemed the main concern was that I realize what I am getting myself into and the changes I have to make in my life. Having this surgery is a life long commitment to taking care of myself. I also had my EKG which was done in my PCP's office. All went well.